During the Great Depression, “Brother [Buddy] Can You Spare a Dime” could have been the theme song for that miserable era in American history. It could also serve as the theme of Obama’s endless Great Recession, which is not to suggest I worry about the future.
You see, I’m a member of the president’s in-crowd and I’m convinced they’ll take care of me no matter what, if you know what I mean.
My buddy, Barack Hussein Obama, and my other buds on the Obama-Biden re-election team such as campaign manager Jim Messina and deputy campaign manager Jennifer O’Malley Dillon email me regularly, usually asking for donations, although not in dimes. Sometimes they email just to fill me in on how things are going.
I think that’s very nice of them. I know they consider themselves my buddies since their emails are so darn friendly and they always address me by my first name, which I think is an extra-special touch that enables me to refer to Barack by the first name he used when he was a pothead, Barry.
The president himself contacted me on May 31st all but begging me to help him out. As Barry wrote,
“Gene — Think about this: Today, our opponent is facing the same fundraising deadline we are. But the people I’m counting on at this crucial moment could not be more different. He’s relying on high-powered special-interest groups and a TV personality who’s spent the last week questioning where I was born. Our campaign is built by millions of ordinary Americans chipping in what they can, when they can. Will you help out before midnight? Make a donation of $3 or more right now.”
As requested, I thought about his plaintive request–for almost a millisecond.
I thought much longer about why Barry presumptuously referred to Mitt Romney as “our opponent,” I wondered where Barry was really born, and why he considers multi-billionaire George Soros, wealthy labor union goons, and virtually all of Hollywood’s elite as “ordinary Americans.”
Now, I fully understand that my boy Barry is in desperate straits, what with so many 2008 financial backers backing out and with young people and his African-American constituencies less than enthused over almost four years of hopey-changey which have resulted in more despair than hope and changes that most never wanted.
His campaign is so strapped for cash that it wouldn’t cough up a few grand to cover extra security costs for his planned Monday visit to Durham, New Hampshire!
What a pity!
You would think that the financial community wouldn’t still be so annoyed at Barry that they’re refusing to throw millions his way as they did in 2008 simply because the president of the United States called them fat cat, Wall Street pigs and drove the economy into the toilet.
You would think young voters wouldn’t still be so pissed that they can’t donate a lousy three bucks from their unemployment checks to the guy they virtually worshipped as The Anointed One four years ago.
You would think blacks would still be ecstatic over having one of their own in the White House and forget he has done next to nothing for them except reward blacks with food stamps and the worst poverty they have suffered in fifty years.
If you thought any or all of that, you would be wrong and to compensate for a severe shortfall in Barry’s campaign war chest he and my other buddies have resorted to some of the most shameless pitches for money in the history of presidential politics.
They have begged for donations in emails, they have raffled off dinners with Barry and his bride to lucky winners, and they are peddling T-shirts ($25.) coffee mugs ($15.), all adorned with copies of his birth certificate.
And now, since there is no greater honor than bestowing cash on a failed president, they are importuning brides, grooms, birthday and anniversary celebrants to send their gift money to the Obama campaign so he can have greater “flexibility” to exert in a second term. (http://tinyurl.com/8xeotro)
What Barry will do with that flexibility is anyone’s guess. However, knowing Barry as well as I do–being the insider, email Obama-buddy that I am–I’m certain as all get-out he will use his four more years to accomplish what he failed to do in his first four, and more!
To demonstrate support for Barry’s re-election, I’d suggest everyone donate a shiny, thin dime to: President Barack Hussein Obama, The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. 20500. Knowing his presidency isn’t worth a plugged nickel, he will be very appreciative.