By the mercy of God, Earth Day, 2011 is over. 

If we had listened to my old schoolmate, George Carlin, it would have been over years ago.  The planet is billions of years old and nothing humans have done or can do to it will ever change anything.  After surviving billions of years, Earth doesn’t give a damn what we do.  It adapts.  

   As Carlin says, “Twenty-five species that were here today will be gone tomorrow. . . There’s nothing wrong with the planet.  The people are f*cked!. . . And we have the conceit that we’re a threat . . . some plastic bags and aluminum cans are gonna make a difference? . . .  The planet isn’t going anywhere! . . . Ask those people at Pompeii how the planet is doing? . . . It’s a self-correcting system . . . ”

The gist of Carlin’s 7 minute skit is that Earth Day types are presumptuously pompous in thinking they can have even a minimal effect on what happens to Mother Earth.  Our planet has endured much worse than plastics in its oceans and periodic warming and cooling of its atmosphere. 

Something Earth Day zealots, enviro-wackos, or the media that encourages them never mention anymore is that in 1970 the same people were predicting the onset of a New Ice Age and a global cooling.  When that never happened and the planet began warming up–as it has done for eons–they deftly switched their angst to global warming and when cold snaps returned they flipped again to the catch-all of climate change, figuring that term would cover all bases. 

What modern civilization may not survive is Earth Day fruitcakes intent on returning us to the days of candles, horse and buggies, and celebrating the pre-eminence of the animal world over the people world.  In that eventuality, Earth Day types would be the first to protest and claim they weren’t getting their fair candle share, that their buggies were drafty, that animals smell.  

   A Genesis refresher on mankind’s dominion: “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit.  You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.  And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.”

   George Carlin may have been a nut but he understood that Earth Day enthusiasts were much nuttier.