Whether the following videos featuring 49 year old Jim Carrey lusting in his heart and genitals for 22 year old Emma Stone and 50 year old Kathy Griffin fantasizing about sex with 17 year old Justin Bieber are pathetic jokes or not, they’re still creepy as well as singularly humorless.
The consensus seems to be that both Carrey and Griffin are serious in their respective overtures to Stone and Bieber primarily because, although both Carrey and Griffin are both supposed to be comics, neither is capable of acting this well.
The affable, twice-married grandfather Jim Carrey has had a number of movie hits, the last of which was four years ago–eons, by Hollywood standards–and has been linked with a slew of Hollywood beauties including Jenny McCarthy but has apparently hit a slough in that department as well.
In that vid “message,” Carrey gulps and confesses to the “all the way beautiful” Stone his desire to marry her and have “freckle-faced kids,” go camping, and reward her with daily sexual delights, a fantasy he concedes apologeticaly is hampered by his age. He wishes her “love and contentment” in life after mentioning his age-related difficulty in peeing, just the thing a 22 year old wants to hear about from a lover.
As weird as it is, Carrey’s video has to take second place to another videotaped confession by third-rate celebrity Kathy Griffin who was inspired by Carrey to articulate her own hidden desires for Justin Bieber.
Griffin, a once-wed, lesbian fav of Leno and Letterman and self-acknowledged member of the celeb D-list, gained fame, if you can call it that, at the 2007 Emmy Awards when she said, “So all I can say is suck it, Jesus, this award is my God now.” She subsequently entertained the troops by joking about their deformities, ridiculed Sarah Palin’s 18 year old daughter, Bristol, as “precious fat,” and announced she now planned to “offend a new Palin,” 16 year old Willow.
Griffin really seems to have a thing for childen.
Taking Jim Carrey’s creepy lead, she lowered her age sights in her video and focused on her obsession with Canadian teen idol, Justin Bieber, professing her love, her desire to have his kids, “if I have even one egg left,” and go camping with him if not for bugs crawling “up my naughty parts.”
In Carrey’s defense, he’s still an attractive guy at 49 even if he doesn’t have a shot at Emma Stone and even if his proposition to her is deranged. In the Griffin-Bieber matter, Kathy Griffin not only could conceivably be his grandmother, in the Ozarks, but is a transparently unattractive woman in her demeanor as well as in her appearance.
In her video love letter to Bieber, Griffin channeled Carrey in complimenting the teen as “always beautiful.”
She also wants to have his children, wishes they too could ”go camping,” although she wouldn’t like bugs crawling up her “body parts.” She promises-threatens the sex would be “weird,” admits the age difference and to having “lines under my ass,” and shares Carrey’s peeing problem although she proudly boasts she still has her period since “I know you like that,” whatever that means.
Griffin concludes her vid-missive to her dream, underaged paramour with a knowing wink which would surely entice Bieber, assuming he can be enticed by a foul-mouthed crone.
Whatever the intent of the Carrey and Griffin videos, they have succeeded in verifying what most people already knew, that most celebritities are weird people. Even worse, they may want normal people to think they are just kidding with their propositions to younger girls and minors.
It’s not working.
For an excursion into Bizarro World, see the videos here http://bit.ly/n8X4fu.